Grindr Monologue (1)
They say staying invisible increases your chance of being desired.
Sad. But you’re different! Because while everyone else is a degraded version of the self they’ve created on here, your profile says that you are aware of exactly what’s going on, like you go into a 50’s themed diner and you know the 50’s themed diner is better than the ones they had in the 1950’s, see what I’m saying?
(2.35 a.m.) Hello?
(2.38 a.m.) Hello?
Grindr Dialogue (1)
I use this traditional three-step model as a relationship template
a) We have sex
b) We meet in person, see if we like each other
c) We get married
Isn’t it physically impossible to have A before B?
Not the way I do it.
Grindr Dialogue (2)
Thanks! Hey, what you into?
Cuddling, love it! Hopeless romantic.
Cuddling? How is cuddling going to get these BEES OUT OF MY FRIGGIN TEETH!!!!?
Grindr Dialogue (3)
I’m in town for the night, all alone in my hotel room.
Is there any ice?
Ice maker down the corridor.
Can you stick your dick in a bucket of ice and then fuck me so that it’s like being fucked by a vampire?
Sure. Come on over. Comfort Inn, Edgware Road.